The Banging Book Club | February: Nina is Not Ok

 * THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS *

(TRIGGER WARNING: alcohol, sexual abuse, domestic abuse)

Alright so as I've mentioned before, the inspiration behind our podcast is the Banging Book Club, comprised of three of my favourite YouTubers: Hannah Witton, Lucy Moon, and Leena Norms. They read both fiction and non-fiction books surrounding the topics of sex and gender, focusing on one book a month (their 2017 reading list can be found here).
I thought it'd be fun to take you along with me through the books. I'm going to divide my experience into sections - namely Before, During, and After - to give a brief and structured version of the discussions over at Holly Talks.

January's book just so happened to be Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James, which I tried to read but really couldn't - sorry. So we'll move on to February's novel, Nina is Not Ok by Shappi Khorsandi.

Before
I've read the blurb and what I can gather is that it seems like your standard YA "I'm a teenager feel sorry for me" kind of deal. There's obviously this a girl called Nina who gets really drunk and this big monumental event happens, she blacks out, and spends the rest of the book trying to piece her night back together from what her family and friends tell her. Perhaps she has sex with someone she didn't mean to? Maybe she is really really horrible to one of her friends. I swear I've read something like this where the protagonist ended up murdering someone and didn't know... Either way, I'm never usually too impressed by 'The Big Thing' that happens and am not really expecting to be blown away. Sorry Shappi.

During
Ok. Ok. This narrative definitely goes a lot deeper than I'd anticipated. Nina really is not ok, as I was forewarned. I'm on page 167 of 338 and she's got quite a massive problem with alcohol. I feel pretty bad for her actually, there's a lot of self-destructive behaviour that I can definitely relate to, and she is missing her little sister like crazy. There's this really sweet and loving side to her and I honestly believe that she is a good person. She lies to herself to keep her friends happy and wants to keep her family as close as she can. There's this massive rebellion she's going through in which she fights with alcohol and sex - but I don't think it's a phase at all. Also I 100% fancy her creative writing tutor as well, she sounds fit as hell.

After
It is now very apparent to me that this book is written to make you think about a multitude of things. Things like family, relationships, alcoholism, victim blaming, domestic abuse, self-love, and other more general issues in that vein. Nina gets help, she works out who is toxic and who is not, she grows to understand that communication is key, and she stands up to her attacker in more ways than one.

I feel like the first half of the book focuses mainly on the consequences of excessive alcohol consumption and strongly suggests that our protagonist is walking in her father's footsteps (who was an alcoholic himself and died when Nina was 9) - however her mum reaches out to her and after a bit of rehab and then continued AA meetings, she seems to gain back basic control of her life. 'The Big Thing' I earlier mentioned, it turns out, is a situation which Nina herself is too drunk to remember - she was sexually abused in an alleyway on a night out with her friends, although this isn't explored in great detail until the second half of the novel. The abuser shamelessly penetrates Nina's friendship group and continues his manipulative tirade on Zoe, who obsesses over him and is driven to illness.

This book is pretty complex. There are levels to every character, every major event, and nearly every conversation.

Here are three things I've learned from Nina is Not Ok:

1. It is important to have/create a strong network of people who support, love, and inspire you
2. The victim is called so for a reason - nothing excuses that
3. I'm jealous Nina has such a weird and wonderful little sister

Fifteen Facts

It hit me last night that my tiny little audience doesn’t really know much about me at all. So I’m going to introduce myself through fifteen things I’ve not yet mentioned on this blog.

1.     I was once very passionate about acting and wanted to perform professionally

2.     our family dog is a sand-coloured pomchi called Archie

3.     my go-to alcoholic beverage is fruit cider

4.     I now work in Starbucks, but used to work in Paperchase (best time of my life)

5.     my happy place is sat around the campfire at a Volkswagen show

6.     I graduated from the University of Essex with a high 2:1 in English Literature

7.     my signature scent is Vanillary by Lush

8.     I have suffered with depression and anxiety for around seven years

9.     for years I have wanted a Canon 500D but never been able to afford it

10.  nearly every year since I was small, my family has holiday-ed in Marmaris, Turkey

11.  I’d prefer if everything was always in lowercase, no capitals

12.  coffee-wise, I love a caramel latte made with soya milk

13.  it is very unlikely that you’ll catch me without lipbalm in my left pocket

14.  I studied Classical Civilisation in college and loved it (to my surprise)

15.  my Myers-Briggs score is ISFJ-T

As always, thank you for reading!

See you in a week or so, 

Trying to Minimise

        So when I go on holiday every year, I make a packing list. I jazz it up a bit, so I know exactly what I mean for future reference, ie. instead of writing ‘white vest’, I’ll write ‘white sheer vest’ as not to get it confused with ‘white daisy vest’. Anyway, just before my family holiday to Menorca last June I had the bright idea of making such a list with every single item of clothing I own. Deep down, I’d always wanted to make this list just because that’s the kinda gal I am, but now I sat down and actually did it. And as expected, I got bored halfway through. A million thoughts went through my head at this point:

·      how is it that I have so many clothes? when did this happen?

·      when did I last wear this? or this? or this?!

·      shit man that’s too many checked shirts for one girl

·      I don’t even like half this stuff, let alone wear it

·      why do I complain about having nothing to wear all the time? I will always have something to wear

·      I’m extremely privileged in this respect, and I am abusing my privilege only to complain about it

Alright that last one was an after-thought, but it did occur to me at some point.

       I’d heard about minimalism before and honestly hated the idea of it, or the way it is perceived in popular culture. All white walls and monochrome. That is 100% not me and knew it wasn’t going to happen, but I knew I couldn’t keep half the crap in my bedroom because it was clogging up both my physical and mental space. I went out and bought Spark Joy: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo (as well as the matching illustrated guide) and set out to rid my life of said crap. I read the first chapter, had a flick-through, understood the concept, decided only to use it only as inspo, and set to work.

       I started with my little chest of junk drawers and reduced it to one junk drawer. That was enough for a couple of months. Then I started on my clothing, as a whole, all of it. Over time I collectively either donated, passed on, or recycled a good six full bin bags of stuff. Then I moved onto the boxes under my bed, the boxes on top and underneath my wardrobe, my makeup collection, books, dvds, cds, sentimental stuff, stationery, notebooks, jewellery, bits of old toiletry sets, duplicates of anything, nail varnishes (who needs 73 pots of the stuff?), etc. etc. etc. Over the next six months I gained a lot of empty space and decided to completely re-arrange and re-decorate my room just before Christmas. It’s now what I imagined it would be, eight months into minimising. Pale pink walls, carefully selected art/photos in frames, no cluttered corkboards or memo boards, a clear windowsill, matching bedsheets, and no television on the wall with trailing wires.

     I’ve got a long way to go, mind you. My clothing collection still boasts 202 items as opposed to 243 last August, but this time I’ve included underwear, shoes, jackets and coats, hats, scarves, gloves, swimwear, pyjamas, gym gear, the works. And I can’t even remember the last time I went shopping.

       What I’m ultimately realising, is the freedom my bedroom now gives me. I am constantly driven towards self-improvement and I honestly believe my space is helping. I am inspired to read, write, letter, doodle, photoshop, constantly. It’s a feeling I think these guys explain pretty well.

The Monthly Wishlist | February 2017

Let's take a break from the fairly gloomy vibe of this blog and indulge in a cheeky bit of good old-fashioned consumerism! I'm trying to reduce my belongings down to items which are either practical, or necessary - the above of which I'm fairly certain are. So bear with me.

One.
I've tried to, but I cannot remember for the life of me where I first saw these beautiful bralettes. They're from an American brand called Lovesick who do clothing from sizes 8 to 28, which is really fucking fantastic and I am so monumentally happy that I've finally found some halterneck bralettes in my size. They actually look like they will hold and support 'ole 38F over here, so I am beyond chuffed! At $24.90 they seem quite pricey, but from what I can gather they always have offers on and throw around discount codes like there's no tomorrow.

Two.
Ah, the Oral B Pro 600 in pink. The older I get, the more I realise how important oral hygiene is and no, I cannot believe I really just said that. My boyfriend received the blue version of this for Christmas and I'll admit it I was just a wee bit jealous. It's only £24.98 in Superdrug at the minute, so sign me up!

Three.
I've had a pair of Skullcandy Hesh 2 headphones for almost five years now and the cable is getting a bit dodgy, so I'm thinking it's about time for an upgrade. I've scoured the internet to find these August EP650 Bluetooth headphones, and the price ranges from around £25 - £40, depending on colour and website. I'll be getting mine from Amazon, where the pair pictured cost £36.08.

Four.
I've grouped the books together. We've got Trumpet by Jackie Kay, and A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard. As you know, I'm well into the Banging Book Club, and these books are 100% to do with that. Trumpet was on last year's reading list and the BBC reviews have really really really made me want to read it, spoilers and all; and A Quiet Kind of Thunder is the novel chosen for this March's read. Obviously, your average paperback book varies from about £7 - £12.

Five.
I have recently branded myself the Pink Fairy Lump and coloured my blonde balayage pink. I need Manic Panic to keep up the look (although it's £11 for 115ml and I'm not about that life, so I'm keeping my eyes peeled for alternatives).

What are you guys buying come payday?