Thursday, 4 August 2016

Tattoo Qs

I don’t consider myself a ‘tattooed person’ and the very thought of using the hashtag #girlswithtattoos on Instagram makes my skin crawl, but the fact is that I am a girl… with tattoos. For me, getting a tattoo was always something I was going to do and ever since school I remember writing across my knuckles the words LOVE and HATE, and drawing up my arms little doodles of blue cartoon diamonds. Personally I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want a tattoo, but that’s a story for another blog post. I’ve now got three, all of which were done this year by the fantastic Aaron Perera at Art & Soul Tattoo Studio in my hometown of Colchester, Essex. He’s only been tattooing for three years but you wouldn’t have thought that looking at his work (click on his name, go on). Here are the three wonderful pieces he’s designed for me, each picture taken the day of its creation so excuse the angles, swelling, bruising, bloodiness etc.

These are all on my left arm, done 2016. Left to right: 4th February (inner upper arm), 5th May (back of upper arm), 1st August (shoulder)

Now cue the onslaught of eye-rolls, judgement, and downright disgust people try to hide when they ask me the following questions (and how I try to honestly respond):

What made you want a tattoo?
As I mentioned earlier I’ve always known I’ve wanted tattoos. Throughout my teenage years Miami Ink or one of its spin-offs was always on the telly and I loved the idea of the body as a canvas and the individuality a tattoo can express. Art is beautiful and so is personal expression, why wouldn’t you want to embody that? Agreed, there are temporary and changeable ways to do that and I completely understand why people are put off by the permanence of tattoos. It’s a terrifying concept and you go through a process with yourself, you doubt your decisions and ask yourself every possible question to ensure you’re making the right decision – but then you do it anyway. Because for some reason it’s speaking to you and the temptation is there to begin with.

What do your parents think?
I love this question. My mum and dad are both riddled with tattoos, so they can’t say jack. The only thing they’re conscious of is that I don’t rush into anything and know a tattoo is the one, you know? A few years ago my mum actually bought a tattoo machine from eBay and practised on herself as well as my dad, and if that wasn’t enough I remember her coming home from a tattoo convention one day with a Koi carp tattooed on her neck. So yeah, take from that what you will!

Why those tattoos? Do they actually mean anything to you?
With me, the tattoos I’d been thinking about the longest were not the ones I got first.

The rose is a variation of an original design Aaron posted on Facebook late last year. My boyfriend Dan knows him through the VW scene and having his own tattoo done, so liked to show me his work where he could. I saw a similar rose in a collection of flash sketches and fell in love with it – I wanted to call Aaron that very moment and book myself in for the following week, I was so excited. My mum and Dan told me to hold off though and honestly, I forgot about it for months. Then it popped up again on Instagram and that was it. I had a consultation, got it drawn up, and tattooed within seven days. And that was that.

The pinky promise was a quick decision, honestly. My best friend Faye and I were both desperate for a new tattoo and before we knew it we were getting matching concepts in different styles and it was all booked. But this tattoo is the one I like to tell people about, because to me a pinky promise is unbreakable and I take them very very seriously. I will promise someone something, but will not pinky promise them if I cannot absolutely guarantee I won’t break it. To give you an idea, I cannot pinky promise Dan that we will last forever because honestly, who knows what might happen? It’s really serious stuff.

The peonies on my shoulder are the tattoo I’ve been thinking about for maybe three years. The only thing stopping me getting them sooner was the placement; the fact that it creeps over my shoulder was for some reason a big deal right up until the moment the stencil was put on. Then I knew I’d been imagining it there for years because it was the absolute perfect place for it – I genuinely felt like there was a piece of me missing until now. I find the peony as a flower incredible and the colours beautiful. It’s pretty and makes me happy. That’s it.

How long did you leave it before you knew?
The rose maybe 6 months? The pinky promise 2 months, and the peonies around three years.

How did you know who to go with?
This was always a massive thing for me. I was not going to be one of those people who walked into my local tattoo shop and pick a generic design from a book or the internet, to then have a scummy bloke I didn’t know at all stab me with a needle for hours. Dan knew Aaron and I made sure I met with him before each tattoo and discussed in detail exactly what I wanted, as well as giving him pages of references to style, colour, and placement. I stalked his Instagram and Facebook to understand the way he worked and he’s never let me down. Aaron’s a great bloke with a wicked sense of humour… bit of a loser if you ask me.

How did you know where to get it?
I can’t explain this. You just know. Obviously you take into account job requirements, whether you want it hidden or not, blah blah blah. But for me, a place just pops into my head, et voila!

How long did it take?
The rose took 2 hours, the pinky promise 3, and the peonies 4 ½.

Did it hurt?
Yes. Yes, tattoos hurt. I’ve got a high pain tolerance, but they definitely don’t feel like someone is brushing a feather over your skin. My first tattoo was probably in the most painful spot but the most recent pain is the one you remember, so on my shoulder towards the collarbone has been the worst for me. The pain varies on where you get the tattoo, personal pain tolerance, time in the chair, detail, type of needle, closeness to the bone, skin sensitivity, etc. etc. etc. No two tattoos feel exactly the same, on anyone. If you’re scared it’ll hurt, it will. Just do it anyway.

Aren’t you worried you’ll regret it?
No. Because it is a conscious decision I have made for myself in my adult brain and I am well aware exactly what it is. I know it will last forever, I know I cannot change it, I know I will change as a person. I also knew myself in each moment, and I wanted to do it. If I look back on it in the future and decide it was a bad decision then tough, you know? There’s nothing I can do about it once it’s done. At the very least, it’s the mark of a person I felt myself to be. And if not, fuck it!

But what will it look like when you’re old and wrinkly?
Like the rest of my body probably. Wrinkly, faded, blotchy, blurred. No-one asks what my boobs are going to be like when I’m old because people just know. Come on, use your initiative. Also, I won’t be alone… I don’t know if you’ve noticed but a lot of people have tattoos. My generation is going to look fucking awesome.

Do you want any more?
I do. Flying around in my head I’ve got plans to fill in the gaps between the three others on my upper left arm. Might get a butterfly, or a globe, or a WWII land girl’s head. I also want to get something for each of my parents on the back of my calves. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Thursday, 2 June 2016

The Monthly Wishlist | June 2016


Alright, I’m going to be honest with you. This post was originally going to be a collection of things I was planning to buy with my May paycheque, but then some time passed and the week was over and I’d forgotten to post. What I also realised, is that a lot of that stuff was boring (bras, body scrub, contact lenses, chocolate buttons….) so here I am, the following Thursday, telling you about the things that I actually had no intention on buying and ended up with anyway.

1: Lanterns, TK Maxx £3.99 / £4.99 
Apparently, June was an appropriate month to buy lanterns. Every Saturday it’s essentially tradition that Dan and I have a half hour mooch in TK Maxx; he heads to the men’s shoes and I go and fill a basket of crap from the homeware section. I’ve hoarded bowls, notebooks, and makeup bags from TK Maxx in the past but on this particular Saturday I just couldn’t walk past the lanterns and picked up these three. I tried to make the selection as mismatched as possible so I chose different metals and colours: copper with orange glass, gold with purple glass, and silver with clear glass. They’re now sat on my windowsill with some Yankee Candle tea lights in them looking very smug knowing that I wasted just under £15 on something I definitely did not need.

Now this purchase has a little story behind it. I work in retail, and almost every shift I find myself complimenting the customers’ choice of purse, and this particular one has caught my eye on more than one occasion. Anyone with the most basic knowledge of pattern knows that this is a Cath Kidston design, so off I trotted down to my local CK retailer (Williams and Griffins – we’ve discussed this, keep up) knowing that I had a £12 voucher I could put towards it. Get this, I make a beeline for the purse – only two left – and march to the counter, only to find that everything instore for that day only is 20% off. RESULT. So it drops in price. Then I whack out my voucher, and the sales assistant knocks off another £19 with that! Little did I know! Overall it cost me £6.60. Bargain mate.

P.S. - The link takes you to the first option I found under the 'Shopping' tab in Google. Might be worth doing your own research too.

3: Swing Cami, Fatface £24.99 
I always find Fatface a bit hit and miss, and honestly too bloody expensive. But I’m off on holiday at the end of June and am still wearing a Fatface vest I bought two years ago, so thought I’d take the plunge. Walked straight on in there, done a cheeky sweep of the shop, and headed to the changing rooms with five (!!) tops and would have happily walked out with three of them. I’ve got the budget of a 21-year-old graduate with a part-time Sunday job though, so had to settle on just the one.  The one I picked is a coral-ly colour, which I love, long enough to cover your front and back bums (essential), and has funky crossover straps which are pretty cute. Got student discount too, saved meself a whole £2.50.

4: The Heat, HMV £5.99 
Alright now I don’t usually go for your standard comedy film. Don’t get me wrong I love a bit of Bridesmaids as much as the next person, I mean I’m not dead inside, but I usually go for something that’s more likely to have dry, hidden humour. Like Suffragette or Brokeback Mountain. Anywho, this was recommended to me by my best pal Faye and I trust her recommendations more than anyone’s, so when I saw it was in the 2 for £10 offer I snatched that baby up.

I love the products at Paperchase and love working there even more, so basically it’s my second home. This design has had my attention ever since we received the range packs prior to release so it was only a matter of time before I decided to purchase something from it. I’ve got two other foldaway bags that I use religiously and I basically just wanted to expand my horizons. Branch out a bit. Go crazy y’know?

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Creating Yourself





 
This blog post is one of those deep, random thoughts I had on the bus this morning. I’m going to talk today – unapologetically – about failure.

I’ve always been a high achiever. I was in the top set for English and Science in secondary school, and second set for Maths. In college I went through a lot of stuff mental health-wise and didn’t do as well as I would’ve liked, but when university came around I was acing it from day one. A lot of my success was down to being well organised, revising for hours on end, eating lots of brain food (tuna sandwiches), and reading criticism until I felt like my brain was going to fall out of my skull.

But I’m also terrified of failure. Not the actual losing or coming last, but the emotional stresses that go with it. As a teenager, failing meant being laughed at, or looking stupid. I was extremely worried about being judged, bullied, humiliated. And it meant that I was uncomfortable a lot of the time. Most of the time. I would plan what to wear to college every night before I went to bed, right down to socks and pants. I would think that I couldn’t wear certain shoes because only certain types of people were allowed to wear those certain types of shoes and that certain type of person certainly wasn’t me. I would read books that other people had recommended to me because it meant I would be more well-read and therefore better company for those people. I fancied Channing Tatum and Nick Jonas because everyone else did. I pretended I cared about parties and drinking and smoking and skinny jeans, and I just didn’t. I thought that was who I was meant to be, but the entirety of my teenage years just felt wrong. In reality, I was a chunky 15/16-year-old girl who wore straight leg jeans with tummy control, fell in love with Disney Original Movie characters (ie. Wendell from Lemonade Mouth), and continuously wore Christmas colours.

In my adult life though, things are different. The past few years have been a proper learning curve. I mean they’ve been ridiculously hard, but they’ve been real. University happened. A relationship happened. My Nanny passed away. Failure to me now is less about what other people think, and more about what I think of myself. After everything that’s happened recently, I’ve realised that the most important and only thing I could possibly want in this life is to be happy. If you can’t be happy surrounded by the people you love, wearing something you love, doing something you love, and acting however you want while you do all that, then what’s life supposed to be?

Other people do not define you. You define you. And what’s more, is that it’s happening all the time. In every decision you make, every test you pass, every pair of shoes you buy, you’re building you.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw



Thursday, 12 May 2016

A Little Trip to London

Hello you lot. So, last weekend I had the pleasure of going to see my pal Jane in London with a couple of my other lovely mates, Hannah and Megan. There was no reason for our visiting. No party, event, or shopping day planned. We hopped on a train for the pure and simple reason that we wanted to see our friend. A few weeks ago we were all feeling a bit pants, so the word was said and off we went.

I took this as my opportunity to try something new. Now, vlogging in the past for me has always meant taking a deliberate trip to Colchester Town centre, filming everything, narrating everything, going in to New Look and trying on everything, then forgetting I’ve got to edit it all and never uploading it. Those which I did manage to upload however, were total shite.

This time around however, I’ve got a bloody decent camera which films in HD. I’ve got months of watching Helen Anderson, Bitsandclips and FunForLouis behind me. I’ve got access to royalty free music websites. And, drumroll please, I’ve got a very basic knowledge of how to use Windows Movie Maker 2.0.

Without further ado, here’s the finished article. Please give it a thumbs up if you enjoyed it, and leave a comment to say hi!

© Holly Talks
Maira Gall